


The Very Avenger Diaries: Tony Stark, part 1

by SanguineParadox, vampirekilmer



Series: The Very Avenger Diaries [1]
Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Explicit Language, Gen, Humor, Metafiction, Other, Parody, Spoof, Spoof of a Spoof, Spoof of a Spoof of a Spoof, Spoof-ception
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-08 18:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanguineParadox/pseuds/SanguineParadox, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirekilmer/pseuds/vampirekilmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the vein of "Bridget Jones' Diary", and "The Very Secret Diaries of the Fellowship" comes:<br/>"The Very Avenger Diaries".</p><p>In the first installment, we take a glance inside the glamorous lifestyle of playboy billionaire, philanthropist, genius, "I Am Iron Man" Tony Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Very Avenger Diaries: Tony Stark, part 1

**Author's Note:**

> There was Bridget Jones' Diary, and then Cassandra Claire wrote "[The Very Secret Diaries of the Fellowship](http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/)". And we realized that there was a shocking lack of Avenger diaries.
> 
> This is pure parody, we make no claims or copyright infringement; if they were ours there would be no shirts. At all. Ever.  
> Please avoid consuming beverages while reading, avoid direct sunlight, and remember that management takes no responsibilities for injuries.

# 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

 **Day One:**  
Hammer drones killed: 5, I’m awesome  
Met up with Agent Coulson. Flew to LA. Drank 3 liters of Belvedere.  
Still not Avenger.   
**  
Day Four:** **  
** Stuck in Shield fortress with Fury.  Perky girl-minion very annoying.    
Beat Galaga high score.    
Not Avenger yet.  
  
 **Day Six:**  
Hammer drones killed: none. Disappointing. Gotee update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!  
Keep wanting to taze Banner, just to see what happens. Holding myself back.  
Still not Avenger.  
  
 **Day Ten:**  
Sorry no entries lately. V. dark at bottom of the ocean. Big squid.  Punched shark in the face.  
Not Avenger today either.  
  
 **Day Eleven:**  
Hydra Agents killed: 7.  I am Iron Man. Gotee update: Looking a little evil overlord  
Barton may have nicer ass than me.  
I wonder if he would like me if I was Avenger?  
  
 **Day Twenty-Eight:**  
Beginning to find Capscicle disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Agent Coulson would kill me. Also, overwhelming sincerity kind of a turn-off.  
Still not an Avenger  
  
 **Day Thirty:**  
In Top Secret Hiding place. Think Jane was hitting on me. Saucy wench.  Hope Pepper doesn’t find out.  
Nice chat with Thor. He’s not so bad.  
Got a pedicure. Yay!  
But still not Avenger.  
  
 **Day Thirty-Two:**  
Baddies killed: none. Gotee update: slightly demonic.  
Barton told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.  
I think Barton might be kinda gay.  
Nope, not Avenger.  
  
 **Day Thirty-Three:**  
Chitauri killed: Countless thousands. I am mother-fucking Iron Man.  
Coulson killed by Loki. Bummer. He died bravely, and am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay with Barton. Not so sure about Banner either.  
Still not Avenger, but at least Thor seemed to think I was. Might however have been blood loss.  
 **  
Day Thirty-Four:**  
Hammer Time went back to Viking land, took the smart assed masochist with him.  
My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?  
Not so sure about me either.  
Still not Avenger, goddammit.


End file.
